Thursday, 29 September 2011

Life is like a game of Tetris.

I didn't finish my paper on time. But I'm not worried because it's like a game of Tetris:

You know when you're doing so fuckin good, every piece is falling into place, you're getting so many points, you can perfectly lay out every move, you're just blazin through the game! 

...and then you get one of those fuckin green pieces that DON'T fit anywhere, then you hesitate and fuck everything and they all pile up. You're all like "omfg. this is it, this is the end." and then you get a long blue piece and you're saved!! 

Yup, that's how my school life is right now. Yes, like a game of Tetris. Right now I am just waiting for my long blue piece to come along and save me. 

This is a really shitty analogy. I am sorry. I just really love Tetris.

Wednesday, 28 September 2011


You know what Telus? I don't care if my "e-bill" is available. I can't afford to pay it anyways, I am unemployed and living off pasta and gingerale. 

Why did I even get an Iphone? why couldn't I just settle for my old "samsung slyde"? "Slyde", being spelt the kewl way of course. It came without a data plan, had a shitty camera, and had clicky buttons that I enjoyed clicking.

and 1 GB MY ASS. My iphone goes over 1 GB in like, a week. Good thing i'm stuck with a 3 year contract, under my name. How I envy the other 18 year olds with phone plans completely taken care of by their parents.

Anyways, if I'm coming off as grumpy it's because I am. And if I'm not, then I obviously need to work harder at contextualizing my emotions. Ahhh "work harder". Will I ever work hard enough? 

Hopefully not anytime soon... I'd have nothing to blog about :)

rissa OUT. peace n' blessin's. PEACE AYAND BLESSIN'S.

Saturday, 24 September 2011

jump on my train, my train of thought.

Right now I am sitting on my couch, thinking about my life. I wonder if anyone else feels the way I do. I could just be torturing myself, I suppose. Sitting on this uncomfortable red sofa, apparently they are vomit proof.. Makes sense. Alone, because I am usually alone lately. And sad, because life is hard. 

Family is supposed to always be there. Always. No exceptions. 

Yet, I find myself completely alone in the world. Why? because of one relationship. I love my Dad, more than anyone else in the world. He's endured a lot of life in 52 years. I have endured less than half what he has and I cry and whine about it everyday. I'm sad that our relationship ceases to exist right now. I'm technically disowned. It sucks, but what can ya do. 

Sometimes, accepting that you've done something wrong is all that you can do. No matter what, you can never go back and change the choices you've made. You will always, always be held accountable. This I learned when I became my own person. Sure, of course, "technically" I have always been my own person. But I am my own, in a different way now. The choices I've made lately seem so huge. I live so, so far away from the place I lived for 17 years. I chose this place to be alone, to be far away from everyone I know. And that's basically what I got. 

Is it everything I expected it to be? Is ANYTHING ever what you expect it to be? My guess is no.

I have experienced a rude awakening. And quite honestly, I just want to come home. I want to lay in my OWN bed. Not the shitty twin bed with a 4 inch foamie for a mattress. I want to wake up to the sound of Harlow running around the house, and watching wonder pets on maximum volume. Not the sound of my alarm, waking my up for my stupid english class. I want to see my Dad, and Sean. I want to laugh with them about everything and anything. I want to be with my friends, the ones that understand me. The ones I can be myself around. 

I miss everything, maybe I won't soon. But this is how I feel right now. And I'm upset about it. I guess it happens to everyone they move away from home.

Friday, 23 September 2011

For Sarah:

Today was alright. I had a 9:30 am class, "Texts and Ideas". It sucked. Then I walked home and ate a grapefruit. Fun, right? No, not really. My Wi-fi broke somehow and I had to call the school IT guys to help me fix it, they did absolutely sweet diddley fuck all. I ended up fixing it myself. Just in time to submit my Journalism in Society paper, a day late.

Anyways, other than that I am having a good day.
I really miss Sarah and Jessica, my true loves. But we will see eachother soon enough :)

Thursday, 22 September 2011

How I feel right, now.

I feel a bit overwhelmed. School is a little more intense then I thought it would be. With that being said, there is not a chance I will ever settle for what Fort McMurray has to offer.

No, thank you.

I am going to finish this blog entry, and go to my 10 am class and learn stuff.

Note: I do have great respect for the City of Fort McMurray, and the Families being supported by the immense work force there. It's just not my cup of tea. I would like to see the world, whether I am a poor, unnoticed Journalist or not. But who am I kidding? Of course I'll get noticed.

Also, I am looking into studying abroad. Melbourne to be exact. Melbourne would be quite kewl... I'd have to get used to the jumbled up seasons, and Christmas over my summer holidays of course. But there's nothing I can't get used to.

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Just a little of my life.

Today was a good day overall. I started it off by being late for my "Texts and Ideas" class. And as I rushed through the classroom door, I kicked over a girl's lunch (fmfl [fuck my fucking life]) luckily she said she was done with it anyway... My guess is, she probably wasn't. 

Upon sitting down, I quickly noticed I had been late for a quiz. I love quizzes. This one was on the screenplay "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", good thing I still hadn't finished reading it. Needless to say, my results rang mediocre once again. 

After leaving class, and loving my sweet, sweet life, while also questioning my very existence (we had discussed Existentialism) I realized I just don't give a fuck. I walked my sorry ass home, and made pasta for lunch, AGAIN. And I fucking enjoyed it. In fact, it might have been the best pasta I have ever made. Why didn't I get someone else to taste it, and judge it's goodness?!.. Oh yeah, because i'm not friends with any of my roommates and they probably think i'm some sort of fucking weirdo.  

Anyways, my day did get better... No, seriously.. It actually did. Joey came over and we went to the mall, and then he drove us a little ways out of town and I got to take some kewl photographs for my Journalism Elements class :) Ta-daaaahhh