ayyyyyy yaaayyy yayy

I slammed my hand in a door today. I really had to pee and I closed the door too soon, without taking my hand out of the frame. Oddly enough, I forgot I'd done it and looked at my hand after, and the huge purple swollen bruise by my knuckle and I was completely puzzled. I am so dense.

Also, I have a group project due tomorrow at 5 pm. I have to present with 3 other people for 20 whole minutes. Ugh. Pressure.


But I am happy :) I had a good weekend with my friends. Jesse came down to Calgary and we hung out n stuff. Climbed some trees with taytay. They are advanced, I am still a beginner; level 1.5. I'm working on it though. Because I have to try and be better than Taylor at everything.

Things are looking up, I say that a lot. The only time I don't say it is when things are looking down. Makes sense.

And Eric Janvier misses me... not surprised.

Mostly because I miss him too :)

For Eric and Sarah Jane:

So today in my "Journalism Elements" class my arm had a spasm, and knocked over my cup of scalding hot coffee. It landed all over my lap. It looked like I peed myself. It felt like I peed myself. I was stinky and dirty and I had to endure 2 more hours of stinky-ness and dirtiness, in public.

Because that's just how my life works.

Oh and by the way Sarah (Eric you might find this interesting as well),
I have been partially diagnosed with a sleeping disorder which is the cause of my months of haunting paralysis episodes. I have REM disturbance disorder. Whatever that is. I think they are wrong in their diagnosis, but I'll leave it to the neurologists to really decide. 
I also have a heart condition seen more prominently in the elderly. It has nothing to do with my unhealthy lifestyle, "That's just your heart, that's just how it's growing", says the doc. Seems fitting that something would be wrong with my heart. I figure I'm probably better off not having one at all. I hate feelings, and love. Such bullshit. Aghh my abnormal heart beats abnormally for no one.

Here's a little internet hate to spice up the holiday season.

I was going to try and pretend that this weekend wasn't thanksgiving, but it's too pointless with all of Facebook talking about how awesome it is. Hmmm, so I am thankful for netflix which has 4 seasons 90210, and my shitty res bed, and also all of the homework I have left to do. Oh boy, do I love homework. And of course I'm thankful for my baby brothers and my amazing friends. 


Everyone else can enjoy their awesome turkey, with their awesome wife, and enjoy the awesome holiday season pretending their only daughter doesn't exist. Cynical? hmm, maybe.  Unreasonable? I could be, a little. Happy? Not a chance.  


Maybe if I got a phone call once in a while, or ever. 

Family isn't always there. That's just how it is sometimes. I can say i'll just move on, and worry about the people that worry about me but it's harder than that. I'm always going to worry about them, whether they worry about me or not. So fuck you "parents", I hope you read this and care even less than you did before. In fact, I know you will. Assholes. 


:D  Happy holidays bitches. 

why.

what am i doing here.